22 posts tagged “two for tuesday”

Why can't I do this every morning!  I managed to get up and meet my speed workout group for only the second time in six weeks and only because it was track work which occurs closer to my home than our usual lakefront meeting point.  And can I really say our usual since I haven't made it there once yet? 

As usual, at the beginning of the workout I felt like I wasn't going to make it through and wondered why I put myself through this...then once it was over, I felt like if I can just string together a few good weeks of consistent training, I will do better at races.  That's sort of the point of training.

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Missing the island:  Sometimes I wonder if I did make the right decision, leaving the no-name software company.  I had good benefits, flexibility in my schedule and could even work from home at least one day a week.  But then I remember that there were legitimate reasons for leaving.  For one thing, my technology skillset was severely behind the curve and I wasn't learning anything new.  Plus there were some ridiculous policies, proceedures and politics that I just wanted to get away from.  And with some internal restructures, it would not have surprised me if I was axed at the next headcount check.

So I'll stick with my decision and say that at the time, it was the right call.  Of course, now that I've been at the consulting company from hell for a year, it may be time to move on. 

While I did not "have" to run today and certainly not before work, I did have to be at work precisely at 8:30am.  Somehow, I managed to get up early enough to get a 4 mile run in with plenty of time to get ready for work, have a light breakfast and still get to work at exactly 8:31 am.  I was delayed a little bit coming into the front door by co-workers who wanted to know about my vacation trip. 

I say that I didn't have to run because I'm between marathons and not really training for anything.  I have about 3 weeks before Chicago Marathon training begins and I'm using the down time to get myself back into pre-vacation shape, especially working on my weight and muscle tone.  I'm also trying to figure out which training program to use for what will probably be my last marathon.

Not trying to sound the drama alarm but this one will be number 20 and its a nice even number to end on.  I've proven that I can do the marathon thing and since I'm not getting my BQ time or setting any new PRs, it is probably time to turn the energy to other neglected areas of my life.  I won't say I'll never do another marathon, especially if my training goes well and I do set a new PR or BQ this fall.  However, it's kinda like a couple that is trying to have a boy or girl, after a certain number of pregnancies, you gotta get the tubes tied.

Tonight I have a 5:30pm foot doctor appointment, one I hope to be my last.  I don't know how I will make it from my last project to the doctors office on time, but that is the challenge of the day.

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It's been a long time since I've had to do that:  On the way to the El station I sometimes stop in this diner for a cup of coffee.  Not wanting to break my last $20 bill, I grabbed about two dollars worth of change from my car ashtray.  When I was paying for the coffee, I was counting out the change, trying to avoid giving up quarters since I might need those for meters.  The lady at the counter thought I didn't have enough money and said I could pay her tomorrow or whenever.  What probably compounded the situation was that she asked me if I wanted a donut -- they have a coffee & dougnut deal -- and I turned it down. 

I found it a little amusing but also remember that there was a time about a decade ago when I was counting my change, wondering if I had enough for a cup of coffee and train fare home.   

Before they made that movie: In the summer of 92 I hung out with Maranda.  We met on the subway, she worked for the CTA as a ticket agent.  I thought of her as a girlfriend although really I was just someone she passed the time with while her real boyfriend ignored her.  They did officially break up and it looked like we might have a chance but in reality, the ex being out the picture only brought her lack of desire for me to the spotlight.  It was just the first of many Life and Love Lessons I was ill-prepared to face: you can't help how you feel about someone.

While i hadn't thought of her in a long time, recent events have brought her to mind lately.  So it was appropriate that I ran into her this morning on my way to work as I entered the Irving Park Blue line station.  At first I just glanced at her and thought she was a cute CTA worker, but then I recognized her dimples. 

I've run into Maranda a couple times over the years, usually at the O'Hare airport station.  Usually I was either going to or coming back from a marathon.  One time I even extended an olive branch and asked if she would like to get together to catch up.  She thought I was hitting on her and said that she's married and couldn't do that, but I could stop by the booth anytime to talk.  I didn't want to press the point and merely said take care. 

Today I was running late and didn't want to miss my train so I merely shouted out "Hi Maranda" and I'm sure she didn't mind. she said hi back and probably did remember me, though I bet she didn't remember my name just like the first time we ran into each other at O'Hare. 

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When bad news is good news: Angela IM'd me today to tell me that she signed up for the St Louis Marathon.  She also brought up New Year's Eve and offered to let me in on her NYE plans and I said that it might be awkward.  You could tell by her emoticon that I caught her off guard. 

Figuring I wasn't going to get a better chance, I asked some questions I needed to know the answers to and we talked a little about what happened.  It was about two Saturdays before Thanksgiving when we were out at the Hidden Cove and I guess I expressed never-before seen interest in her.  Which is true because until that point I was wondering what was wrong with me that there was this attractive, techy runner girl who seemed interested in me but I felt nothing.  It was that evening that something clicked for me and I started to think of her as more than a friend and opened myself up to the possibility of something.  And I believe she felt the same way. 

We talked a little about what happened, figuring I wasn't gonna get a better chance, I asked some questions that I needed to know the answers to and opened up a little bit.  I found out that it wasn't a case of she was interested then lost it but rather, was merely confused by my actions.  Seems she thought that I was never interested in her but that night at the Hidden Cove -- which lead to our kissing good night -- I guess I notched it up a gear earlier that evening and that made her think I was the one who wanted to try dating. 

She said "and then you asked me straight up if I wanted to date and I went with it because saying 'no' just didn't seem right either... so, again, I'm really sorry for hurting you."

To her credit, she did try in her own way to make it work.  But the chemistry wasn't there or wasn't developed enough and we forced it too soon.  The bottom line is a long talk with open honest communication the day after we kissed might have cleared things up much sooner. 

A byproduct of being single:  The other night I was at my church's christmas party and a friend came up to me and asked "so how did 'drinks' go."  At first I thought maybe he had too much communial wine, but then I realized what he was talking about.  Earlier that week, I was at his sister-in-law's birthday gathering and had to leave to meet someone for a drink.  It wasn't really a date but it was hardly just meeting a friend for a drink since another A-named Girl and I had never met before.  What it really was, was a mutual investigation into the possibility that we might be attracted enough to each other to want to go through the headache that is dating.

As it turns out, while A-named Girl is cute and has a nice body, the chemistry wasn't exactly there.  We might hang out together in the future in a group or if our mutual friend has a gathering that brings us together, but I don't see any long term potential.  And if she was on the same non-date as me, she feels the same way.  So we have both probably moved on past the event. 

But while A-named Girl and I have moved on, the people at my friend's birthday gathering had there hopes that I could soon be more than just their tokken single friend.  They had visions of double-dates and dinner parties (with even number of seats; single people screw up the seating chart).  But mostly, they had my best interest at heart.  They know how much I want to find someone and they were hoping that this might be it.

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Maybe I'm tempting Fate:  When it comes to making plans to visit Europe, I'm 1 for 4.  Two attempted visits to Italy never saw the light of day as the first time my college friends and I were too naive & poor to successfully pull off such an endeaver.  The second time, everything was set to go with an all inclusive tour but not enough people signed up so it got canceled.  Lucky thing too as the girlfriend who suggested the tour broke up with me the month before. 

The one time I thought about going to visit Poland, I had my Year-From-Hell and lost my job and contact with the person who might have been able to help guide me through the pre-Euro era.  The one time I did make it to Europe was because others had planned a trip to Paris and I piggybacked on it.

And now my hopes of another European Vacation seem doomed.  I don't have a lot of vacation time to work with, not to mention that things have been so slow that I may be let go.  [In consulting, if you aren't billing enough to cover your salary, you're stealing from the company.]  While that would solve the time off problem, a trip that will cost at least two mortgage payments, if not more isn't something you want to undertake if you are unemployed.

In 1999, I had looked into going to Poland over Christmas.  At the time I had a friend who worked as a nanny here during the summer and then went back home for school.  However, we lost touch and I lost my job so the plan, which was never beyond the talked about stage here, never saw the light of day.  I'm determined not to let the same thing happen this time, although I'm not the only one calling the plays.

The following will put a certain reader to sleep but I don't care.  Tonight I had a chance to attend a free exhibit at the Museum of Science & Industry, but because of the snow storm that caused potentially dangerous driving conditions and my own fatigue, I opted to stay home instead.

My plan was to go for a run in the snow, then head to the MuSI, but I was feeling so tired that I lied down on my bed.  And while sleep never came, rest did.  I looked out my window and realized that I would never find parking once I got home from the museum.  More importantly, I realized that I had activity every night this week except for Thursday which is still my wild card in case Jennifer Love Hewitt decides for one last fling before tying the knot. 

So I decided to skip the museum, skip the run and instead work on my den.  I started sorting though the shoe boxes of paper and floppy disks and Cds that are living in the middle of my second bedroom.  Ultimately, it doesn't look like I accomplished much, but I did create two bags of garbage. 

Part of me wishes I had gone for the run, then got in my car and seen the exhibit.  But then I remember that the invitation didn't come until 9th hour and I would not have gone otherwise.  Maybe this is Universe's way of letting me know that I needed to stay home and slow down.  I have something going on tomorrow and a whole weekend of activity so taking a day off is probably just what I need.

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We are family:  I received my new replacement cell phone today.  It looks exactly like my old one except it is blue instead of grey.  As an engineer, I am really proud that my old Nokia phone (first pic to left) still works and was able to talk for 17 minutes yesterday.  I will definitely hold onto it and keep it as a cheerished backup.

My former phone (middle left) looks okay but the LCD screen is cracked.  I'm tempted to send it back to T-Mobile to see if someone sends me another one.

The new phone looks exactly the same except is blue.  And it has to be reprogrammed.  I've lost a few numbers and text messages, but maybe that too was by Universal Design.

This rollercoaster has to stop:  Last week I felt like I didn't belong.  This week I feel like part of the dysfunctional team.  Today was a great example of Give and take dysfunction.  I asked about getting a copy of some software for my home computer so I can learn stuff in my sparetime.  I expected either a definative yes or no, but instead got a "good idea, let me look into it." 

If I get this software -- expensive and technically a strain if not an absolute violation of our software license partnership -- then I feel like I have to stay with this crazy place for a while.  But then the following happens.  I go seven hours without any client billable work and then just before 5pm, they come up with a set me up to fail assignment which I cannot get done before 5pm, thus I am late getting home. 

The good news is that I did go for a 6.5 mile run tonight and averaged 8 mm, the first time I've done that in a long time.  Most of my miles were actually sub 8s which gives me confidence because I was starting to feel like I had lost my speed.  Of course it probably has something to do with not running nearly as much these days and also being a bit angry.

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I really tried ot avoid all this:  So I met this girl back in March.  She was friends with a group of people I kinda know but don't really hang out with much any more.  Anyway, she's a runner and an IT geek like me so we had some common ground.  But she had a boyfriend and I wasn't interested anyway, so a casual friendship ensued.  Most of our conversations occurred over Instant Messenger.

Flash forward to Sept.  She moves into the city, her boyfriend breaks up with her and we start talking more.  After the marathon, we even hangout in person. 

Eventually, we share a kiss and decide to try the dating thing.  Then two weeks later, she decides that we shouldn't date.  In all fairness, I know she didn't come to the decision lightly; she probably wanted it to work, but for whatever reason, she just wasn't feeling it. 

And that's the thing that bothers me.  She's not the first lady to decide that she wants to date me, then in a very short time, change her mind.  So either

I'm attracting flakes, or I'm doing something that is making women decide after kissing me that "uh-uh, i'm not going any further with this guy."

It doesn't help that on the night we first kissed, I also introduced her to So-Suede and they had been emailing the last few weeks.  If there is anyone in the world who wants to be done with all this game playing and just be in a relationship more than me, it's So-Suede. 

It's really hard to reset my confidence and get back out there. 

Close Shave:  Have you seen that razor commercial, the one with Roger Federer, Thierry Henry and Tiger Woods spewling about how they don't think about yesterday.

"yesterday is History...just a nice memory," Roger Federer.

"I never think about yesterday," Thierry Henry.

"The only day that matters is today," Tiger Woods.

I think I will adopt that kind of outlook.  Not because I worship any of these athletes, but because I spend too much time dwelling in the past.

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Hitting it on the nose:  I like to frequent Kristin Armstrong's blog because she does a good job writing about her running, her faith and the relation between the two.  In a blog she posted on Halloween

http://milemarkers.runnersworld.com/2007/10/a-good-boo.html

she talks about the things we take for granted. 

Technically its my food too:  I was at dinner with my MSTV friends the other night.  We were at a Restaurant and I was looking over the beer selection, surprised to see Okocim, one of the three Polish Beers that have made it to American Shores (the other two being Tyskie and Żywiec).  I ordered it but the waitress told me that they don't serve it any more and that the menus were outdated. 

One of the gang asked me if I had ever had the beer before.  I told her I had and explained it was a Polish be.  She said, "oh yeah, you dated all those Polish women so you had to eat their food and drink their beer at some point." 

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Lack of Fundamentals:  I had this thought the other day.  What if the reason a lot of people -- myself included -- who are good catches on paper are still single isn't because of anything big like fear of commitment, lack of direction or the inability to stay conscious after ingesting a bottle or two of bourbon, but because of something more subtle.

Seemed like a good idea at the time:  About a month ago, my friend Cindy had the idea that we would co-host carbo-loading pasta parties that could occur before big mile Long Runs.  At the time she was unemployed and not running herself, so she felt a bit cut off from the Runner World and most of our mutual friends.  We picked last Friday because it was the weekend of the last 20 and felt that we would get a good turn out.

At first Cindy was pressuring me to send out the evite so that people could put it on their calendars.  Of course with that much advanced notice, most people wait until the time draws closer to commit because you just never know if you'll get a better offer for free pasta.

In the meantime, Cindy landed some contract work that would eventually lead to an offer and she started substitute group leading so she was back in the mix of things.  Hence the grand plans got scaled back a bit.  We also incorporated the help of our friend Betty.

The party turned out fine and especially since I didn't have to do a lot of work myself.  I just provided a clean condo and some cooking utensils.  The most amazing thing about people in other people's kitchen is how act when they need something.  If something isn't where they have it in their kitchen, some people are like fish out of water.  They could be looking for a knife and in their kitchen the knife set is next to the sink, if yours isn't next to the sink they will

Cindy or Betty would decide they needed something, like a big bowl for a salad.  Not expecting them to go through all my cabinets -- though I would have been fine with that -- I opened a cabinet, pulled out my bowls and asked which one would do.  Twenty minutes later Betty needed another bowl.  Do you think she looked in the cabinet at the other bowls that didn't qualify the first time she needed a big bowl?  Nope, she simply said "I need a big bowl." 

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"I couldn't fix you...you fixed you," a friend said to me the other day as we had a late lunch at Water Tower Place.