9 posts tagged “friends”
So the Krazy Guatemalan sent out an e-vite last week inviting some friends to see The Blues Brothers at Movies-in-the-Park, Since joining the consulting company, it takes an Act of God for me to be able to make MITP. Either I'm sent out to the far reaches of suburbia for the day or I'm stuck working late on something. So I responded with a well-intended maybe and hoped for the best.
As luck would have it, my Menace's new assistant scheduled me to be in Lisle this morning. Which meant I would have my car. It was only a morning assignment which meant that I got to park in a downtown parking garage on the company dime. Evil Forces 0, Icarus 1.
Now the interesting thing is that the original evite had FWDWM on it as well as So-Suede. I checked back a few days ago and FWDWM name was gone. When I made it to the park tonight, I asked and it turns out that she decided that as much as she wanted to see the movie, she didn't want to be around me and/or So-Suede.
And that's helps me feel like I was right to cut her out of my life. I can understand not wanting to be around people who make you uncomfortable or have ill feelings toward you -- I was worried Angus would show up and talk about her wedding -- but the classy thing to do would have been to simple write on the evite that you already made plans to attend with some other friends but would try to stop by to say hi. Instead, she removed herself from the list.
Also at the park was Andrea. As usual, she spotted me before I saw her. I was looking for Krazy Guatemalan's camp and we started chatting. She asked who I was going to sit with and I told her So-Suede and KG. Her smile left her face and she mentioned that she still wanted her CDs back. I said "he's sitting over there, about 20 yards away. You're relationship was based on always randoming running into each other...do you not see the irony!"
Well, okay I didn't say the last sentence but I sure thought it. She had asked me a while back to get the CDs for her and I was going to but then I thought well you made So-Suede do the heavy lifting by telling me that you were dating so maybe you should do your own dirty work for a change.
She eventually did come over and he got up and if you were watching carefully, you'd see that he was ready to hug her but she wanted nothing to do with that. They did talk for quite a while. I think they left it with plans to return her CDs to her somehow.
The real irony is that six months ago they wanted each other so badly that they were willing to forfeit my friendship and now they can't quite stand to be 20 yards away.
Years from now, some of us might be in the same room at someone's funeral. Hopefully we can all project the class and grace that we are failing to emulate today.
I sent a couple of friends a photo I took of one of them along with a casual invite to join me sunday at an event.
Dan, I'm gonna be at the IAHC on Sunday for Irish Fest. You should definitely come. Karen, the IAHC is very close to your parent's home so you should stop by too.
The likelihood of either coming is slim; Dan doesn't like to leave his comfort zone of Old Town and Karen lives in the burbs with hubby and children. I only mentioned it because dan has gone in the past -- back in the day when he was married and happy and not a shell of his former self.
But what I want to gripe about today is Karen's ditzyness.
She writes me back and asks "what's the IAHC". I realize that it would be a stretch for most to figure out from my email that the I stands for Irish, the A is American and Heritage Center isn't a term that comes to mind. So I write back and tell her Irish American Heritage Center and hope that is the end of it.
She writes back and asks where is it. I demonstrate remarkable restraint and don't write back "as mentioned below, it's by your parents place." Instead, I write that I don't know the exact address but it's at Wilson & Knoxx, near your parents." Of course I couldn't resist adding "U2CG -- which is one way of saying "you too can google".
This could have gone on and on, especially after she replied "Oh, you think I understand text-lingo? YOu're so wrong." But I just let it go with a "i'll try to remember that."
But it is one that does kinda irk me because I have to modify my behavior to accomodate someone and I find that is something that I've been too reluctant to do in the past. That probably explains things like why most of my friends weren't jumping on the bandwagon to travel to Europe with me this year.
Forgive me if I've used that title before. For the first time since December, So-Suede, the Krazy Gautamalan, QK and me got together. So-Suede sent the invite last week but I was out of town so I suggested tonight instead. It seems everyone was available. It wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be.
For one thing, I didn't have the desire to punch him like I did at Krazy Guat's birthday party a few months ago. My feeling was pretty neutral. I guess I'm over it except for the part about not wanting to give the appearance of condoning his actions through moving on without any acknowledgement of what happened. I foresee that GNO will reappear on my calendar and when the warm weather finally gets here, Bacci playing in the park will resume, but our friendship will never quite be the same.
There were a couple opportunities for me to take some digs at So-Suede, but I let them slide. Like when he wanted to know how he could get the phone number of a lady at the next table whom he thought attractive but didn't get to talk with all night. I could have said "well I could go out with her and you could start having secret coffee dates!"
Toward the end of the evening at Peace, I struck up a conversation with the ladies who were seated at our shared table. I wasn't interested in any of them, just merely trying to practice being more engaging but there was one who I found cuter and I did talk to her a bit more. It probably is a coincidence but it seems like the moment I showed more attention to one of the ladies, was the moment So-Suede came over and started chatting her up.
At the Hidden Cove, So-Suede was trying to figure out the last time we were there and I reminded him that it was the night with Angela.
I find myself wonder what it is that make him so special...what he has that I don't. Not in the pathetic, depressed way I did a few months ago but more in a "seriously, what's so great about him" sort of way.
Chicagoans willing to brave frigid temperatures and look to the skies Wednesday night will be able to observe a total lunar eclipse, the last such event for almost three years. Beginning around 7:30 p.m., the Earth will begin to move into a position where it blocks the sunlight striking the moon, throwing its planetary shadow across the lunar surface. The eclipse will be total between 9:01 and 9:51 p.m., astronomers predict, and then will taper off until about 11:09 p.m. Though the most recent total lunar eclipse was only six months ago, Wednesday's will be the last until December2010, Adler Planetarium astronomer Larry Ciupik said.
By Robert Mitchum | Tribune reporter
5:54 PM CST, February 20, 2008
The moon was full in the Christmas night sky when So-Suede told me that he was going to ask Angela out again. So every time there has been a full moon since, I am reminded of that moment when it felt like a knife had been placed in my back.
Saturday night did not go well. On the surface everything went down okay. The place was crowded when I got there, most people were running late and I had established that I had to eventually leave to attend another birthday party. I gave myself a 90 minute window which I felt was more than fair especially since the Krazy Guatamalan was late for his own party. I used the time to talk to everyone I could, engaging them in small talk and showing genuine interest.
About 75 minutes into that window, Judas walked in and Jezebel was with him. While he was saying hi to someone, she told me that he called her that afternoon. I didn't get the rest of the story though. He came over and asked me how it was going and I said "good. Thanks for asking."
But here's where I blew the opportunity to outclass him. I gave him a if-looks-could-kill-he'd-be-dead look that I had not planned on doing but could not stop myself from doing. It was just pure, uncontrollable instinct. So any edge I may have had from the he did a scummy thing, I gave up because he made the effort to talk to me and I gave him the angry eyes.
I'm hoping that the full moon being swallowed up by the Earth -- even if just for a few hours -- is a sign of better things to come. The last time there was an astronomical event that wouldn't happened again for a long time (Mars moving closest to Earth), good things happened for me. Is it asking too much for lightening to strike again?
In about 7 hours I will go to a party that I have been dreading for a while. The Krazy Guatamalan is having his annual birthday gathering and I'm obligated to show up, at least for a little while. I'm guessing some people are wondering what will happen when So-Suede and I are in the same room with alcohol after not speaking to each other for two months. Or not.
Now that I think about it, there hasn't been a year that I've looked forward to going. The first year, So-Suede and FWDWM were a couple and since I had a not-so-secret crush on her, I hated seeing them together. Last year, it was potentially awkward because FWDWM and I had just had a throw-down of our own. And now this year I was thinking I would see Judas and Jezebal (aka So-Suede and Angela) all lovie-dovie.
Except she apparently won't be there. In fact, it seems they are not together anymore. She IM'd me on Thursday to chat. She asked if I had talked to him recently and I said not since Christmas. She seemed surprise, because in her world it's okay to date someone you swore you were not interested in and expect nothing to change. But I digress. Other than lunch earlier this week, she hadn't seen him since the superbowl.
It doesn't really matter. She still likes him and if he would come around, she'd take him back. It makes me wonder what So-Suede has that I don't that FWDWM and Angela would choose him over me, but I have to stop looking at it that way, if only because it's unhealthy. There may be no answer and there certainly won't be on that I would want to hear, so what is the point. Meanwhile, I have to get on with my life. I also have to find a way to look at this situation and not see myself as the "loser" and him as the "winner."
There wasn't much going on tonight that I was interested in participating in on a cold sub-zero night in Chicago. So it didn't bother me too much that I had to work until 6:30 pm. But dammit don't I wish I had someone to talk to right now. I'm cut off from my RCYA-friends -- the ones that I do get along with -- because I just won't go to Lincoln Square or any of the events that I might run into Judas and Jezebel at. I only see my running friends on the weekend and we go our separate ways after brunch.
This is hard. I really don't care so much that So-Suede and Angela got together; she and I were not a good fit and we only tried dating for like 5 minutes. But it just feels like women always prefer him for some reason and it is never going to be my turn. There are still a lot of good things going on in my life but I really need something good to happen on the romance front because I don't know how much longer I can go on. And so it doesn't help when I work late and realize that I'm going home to no one and time keeps passing by. I begin to worry that I've spent so much time training for marathons that I've missed out on the important things in life.
But then I go for a run like I did tonight when I finally got home at 7pm. It was only a 3 mile run in the freezing cold but my mood changed from wanting to cry to simply wanting to improve my situation. I have to find a way to be happier and project contentment with my life. And that is hard right now because even though things are better at work these last two weeks -- because the powers that be ordered the Wicked Witch of Oak Park to be nice to me least they get sued for creating a hostile work environment -- it's only a temporary Détente.
Angela, the friend who wanted to date me, then changed her mind, IM'd me today. She asked about my plans for the International Marathon I want to run next year. I told her that most people aren't able to commit because of their job situations or other things including the price tag. She said that she would probably not be able to afford to go along either. This was her indirect way of saying that she was changing her mind about the trip. Funny because just a few weeks ago, she was talking about how she would rather spend her money traveling and seeing the world than saving for a condo she might not be able to afford.
It would have been easy to take a shot and say "well, when it comes to changing your mind, you are the Queen." But I didn't. I haven't yet told her how much it is bothering me that she flipped her position and decided that we shouldn't date. I know she tried to the best of her abilities and I don't want to be some old man in an old folks home 40 years from now still bitter about this. Instead I opted for the high ground and merely agreed that the airfare is pricey.
I'm relieved because I wasn't sure how I felt about her coming along on this trip -- a trip which may not happen now because of a variety of circumstances. True, it's over five months away and one would hope that I'm over what happend by then. But still, I can only be friends with so many woman who only want to be friends and I think I'm filled up on the depth chart in that area.
The trip may not happen because my new company only lets people carry over 2 days of vacation time per year and I won't have accumulated enough between now and May for an extended trip. The other factor is that none of my friends can realistically come along. But what really bugs me is that my Polish Peeps aren't helping me out with information about going to Europe. I mean the only thing they do more than fly to Warsaw is masterbate but they aren't sharing advice like what airline to use or who their travel agent is. Yet I know that if I go on this trip, once it's over, every Pole I know will say "oh you should have talked to me first, I gotta guy..."
Nothing like having over thirty of your friends gather for your birthday celebration to give you that warm fuzzy feeling. My birthday gathering was quite a success. Two ladies I dated even showed up on a Saturday night to spend some time with me. It was a good mixture of running friends, church friends and high school friends. The last hour or two is a bit hazy because the Shot Ferry showed up and insisted that I never be without a drink.
I'm proud to add that other than an awful bad turn at Karaoke and a bit of alcohol induced tiredness at the end of the night, I didn't say or do anything embarassing. I can show my face among these people again which is good because I wouldn't have the time to find thirty new friends by next year's birthday. Yes, I think it is safe to lift the embargo on birthday celebrations and make it an annual affair.
This morning I woke up to the following email received last night after I had gone to bed:
Icarus,
I hope this email finds you well. I was wondering if you'd be open to talking sometime this weekend? We could chat over the phone or in person--whichever you'd prefer.
Please let me know.
Thanks,
Since our last conversation on New Year's Day, the conversation where I stated that I didn't want to see her, FWDWM has respected my position and hasn't broken communications silence. Except for a text message to warn me that she would be at a mutual friend's going away party and she was bringing a date.
My first thought was, why doesn't she want to talk to me now? We are probably going to run into each other tomorrow evening at the Krazy Guatamalan's birthday party. But after that, we shouldn't have to consume the exact same molecules of atmosphere for a very, very long time.
We spent part of the day emailing about where and when we could meet. She wanted to meet before the party, which leads me to think maybe she wants she wants everyone to be comfortable and avoid any awkwardness. After all, the last party she probably counted on me not coming but she knows I'm going to this one.
Or maybe since Lent is around the corner, it's important for her to resolve this rift between us. I don't know what I'm going to say to her tomorrow. But I will keep my 1 reader updated as new develops occur.
