Back on the grid
I've been off the grid for the last couple of weeks. For the most part, it's been a combination of being busy with work and spending my free time with my girlfriend and/or taking care of things outside the cyberworld.
Last week was at the St Mike's fest. One of So-Suede's ex girlfriends -- the one before FWDWM -- asked me if I was talking to him yet. I was a little caught off guard because I hadn't thought about it in a while and I didn't realize that he would have told her about the situation. I said that we were talking and even did Guys-Night-Out in April. She said that was good and that she was on my side with respect to what happened. I said thank you. Because at the time, it didn't seem like a lot of people were on my side. Ironically, those I thought would see my point were telling me to get over it and those whom I thought would think I was making a big to-do about nothing backed me up.
It's strange: this was so important, so consuming a few months ago and now I can barely remember what the big deal was. I vaguely remember that I bitched, whined and moaned about it like it was the end of the world. I do recall that it felt like I had brought this upon myself. I introduced Angela and So-Suede. And I know that I didn't handle the two encounters with them in the same room with anything resembling Grace. So I really should just count myself lucky and move on.
Yet part of me wants to hold on so as not to forget least it ever happen again. As if forgiving would be giving So-Suede a free pass and dismissing what he did. Because I can respect that they felt a spark for one another that Angela and I didn't share. And since the only person I know who wants to be with someone more than me is So-Suede, all is fair in love and war. But he could have told me sooner and he could have acknowledged that I spent a Guys-Night-Out pseudo crying in my beer that I had taken a chance on dating a friend and it didn't work out.
Leia, another friend at that fest -- one who knows me and Andrea and another friend that I also briefly dated -- mentioned that me and my girlfriend seems so good together. Leia meet the girlfriend at Angela's bday party the week before. I said thank you and that "I traded up." Leia said tactfully said that often it is a matter of timing. She is very right, of course. But it is also a matter of recognizing a good thing when it is in front of your face.
